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The one thing I am afraid of here is myself.

Leave approaches. Will I be a disappointment? Always the same expecations... I have let people down so many times before. But I want things to be different this time - I know things will be different, otherwise none of this will have been worth it. Some good has to come out of all of this.

I struggle with the same question now as in the past. My entire life. Who is it I that strive so hard to impress? Who am I so afraid to let down? I wish I knew.

I am tired.