Thursday, July 06, 2006

Things you don’t want to try in the hooch (or anywhere else)

Homemade Gazpacho: I took canned Campbell’s tomato soup, and added ice, cut up tomatoes, French fry vinegar, and artificial sour cream (out of a squeeze pack - no refrigeration required!). The ice cubes kept getting in the way so I had to use a straw. It tasted absolutely horrible. Not at all like Lisanne’s.

Fizzy Energy Drink: We have this carbonated, vitamin C+, super energy drink powder that you are supposed to add to water for a “delicious and refreshing energy boost,” as the label says. Well, I thought if it was good in water, it would be even better in Coke. It took me twenty minutes to clean up the hooch after the resulting explosion of coke-a-cola foam.

Homemade Potato Chips from Fried Potato Breakfast Patties: First, I got my pocket all greasy sneaking the patties out of the damned chow hall. Then I mashed them up, added salt, mushed them down on a piece of flat steel, cut them into potato chip shapes with my knife, and set them to dry in front of the air conditioner. I guess I thought this would “cook” them somehow. This was probably my worst-ever culinary experience. Wet, they tasted like cold cardboard. No difference dry. My God, even extra salt and hot sauce didn’t help.


Blogger KAB said...

Reminds me of the barbeque you had in LA where the meat was "cooked" in its own juices.

July 06, 2006 11:20 PM  
Anonymous KJB said...

Maybe you could have left them outside - it's about 350 degrees typically, I understand - and "baked" them. Anyway, what's wrong with MRE's?

July 07, 2006 7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys laugh, but I swear that was legit.

I just recently (a couple of months ago) also discovered that the Thai's serve a raw beef salad. I've since ordered it in 2 different Thai resturants and it's great!!

July 07, 2006 7:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's wrong indeed? At least hot sauce improves an MRE.

July 07, 2006 11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a Major retard, if you don't mind me saying so. And I happen to know about retards. Did I really beget you? Also what is a MRE exactly?

With love,

Yo Yo

July 08, 2006 12:15 PM  

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