Thursday, July 06, 2006

Things you don’t want to try in the hooch (or anywhere else)

Homemade Gazpacho: I took canned Campbell’s tomato soup, and added ice, cut up tomatoes, French fry vinegar, and artificial sour cream (out of a squeeze pack - no refrigeration required!). The ice cubes kept getting in the way so I had to use a straw. It tasted absolutely horrible. Not at all like Lisanne’s.

Fizzy Energy Drink: We have this carbonated, vitamin C+, super energy drink powder that you are supposed to add to water for a “delicious and refreshing energy boost,” as the label says. Well, I thought if it was good in water, it would be even better in Coke. It took me twenty minutes to clean up the hooch after the resulting explosion of coke-a-cola foam.

Homemade Potato Chips from Fried Potato Breakfast Patties: First, I got my pocket all greasy sneaking the patties out of the damned chow hall. Then I mashed them up, added salt, mushed them down on a piece of flat steel, cut them into potato chip shapes with my knife, and set them to dry in front of the air conditioner. I guess I thought this would “cook” them somehow. This was probably my worst-ever culinary experience. Wet, they tasted like cold cardboard. No difference dry. My God, even extra salt and hot sauce didn’t help.

5 Comments:

Blogger KAB said...

Reminds me of the barbeque you had in LA where the meat was "cooked" in its own juices.

July 06, 2006 11:20 PM  
Anonymous KJB said...

Maybe you could have left them outside - it's about 350 degrees typically, I understand - and "baked" them. Anyway, what's wrong with MRE's?

July 07, 2006 7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys laugh, but I swear that was legit.

I just recently (a couple of months ago) also discovered that the Thai's serve a raw beef salad. I've since ordered it in 2 different Thai resturants and it's great!!

July 07, 2006 7:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's wrong indeed? At least hot sauce improves an MRE.

July 07, 2006 11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a Major retard, if you don't mind me saying so. And I happen to know about retards. Did I really beget you? Also what is a MRE exactly?

With love,

Yo Yo

July 08, 2006 12:15 PM  

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